The Velvet Rope

It's taking me a lot longer than normal to adjust from my time in Toronto. It never ceases to amaze me how such a minor trip could affect me. I guess hitting the road again immediately after didn't help.

Of course coming home to an empty house is very limited in its merits, so I had to do a "heavens to Murgatroyd, exit stage right...to the Queens Cross even." The cross being my local watering hole obviously.

They were having this Rickards Red event, and giving away free beer, so let me tell you, the clientele were at a near all time low. I just wanted to sit, have a frosty one, and purge my thoughts of the last week. Impossible, the place was packed not unlike sardines with the exception that sardines smell better. They had also decided to change the patio furniture so my status quo was removed. I was suddenly in a foreign land.

Now I know that we all have our Cliff Clavens at our local bars, there is no way around it. The Cross almost specializes at it. Typically, we call them Saturday Night Specials. You have the type that will overtalk your conversation, as if they've known you for years. You have the type that will ramble on for hours about their "theory's", something along the lines of Hitler wanting to take over the west because he was obsessed with contemporary west coast housing. You also have the violent and the ignorant. There have been many times I've had to borrow a line from Jack Nicholson in "As Good As it Gets". It is quite simple but very direct.

"Go sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up around here."

Anyway, I started the velvet rope thing about 8 years ago. We have these imaginary velvet ropes around our tables, and quite often you will hear one table calling to another in almost a soft whisper so as not to alert the person we are talking about "v e l v e t r o p e, v e l v e t r o p e" , it gives us the heads up to circle the chuck wagons errr... tables.

I'm thinking of starting a velvet rope revolution when we are in New York. And don't even get me started on "A" and "B" tables.

Say Cheese!

I bought myself a new camera for the New York trip. Or I guess that is I bought myself a camera, I've never owned one.

It can hold 8000 pictures and keep an hour and 40 minutes of movies. Thankfully, I think I've had about 200 pictures taken of me my whole life, so you don't have to worry about my mug suddenly being plastered all over the Internet.

I don't have the photographic panache of my friend Dan, so I had to get the most idiot proof one available. It even has a "smile sensor" so it won't take a picture until everyone is smiling. Crazy I know. With the people I know, it pretty much means it will never take a picture.

The trip is rounding the bend, now that I have dropped 3 grand on Yankees tickets we, at least I, are past the point of no return. It's going to be a blast, and I couldn't think of a better group to go with.

Now the only trick is to not lose the camera in the next 6 weeks.

The International Silver String Submarine Band

This is for Dan. I used to be able to watch this stuff for hours. Now of course it's censored to hell. The expressions on the sound engineers face are priceless.

And yes, that is a young Robert Blake playing the flute.

Fat Guy in a Little Coat

I saw this on the weekend, and still haven't been able to get it out of my head. Everytime I get dressed now, I'm singing "Fat Guy in a Little Coat."

Make it go away!!

At least it's not as bad as that time I had "Pop Goes the Weasel" stuck in my head for a year.

Yaaa!! You're Number 100!!

Even though I only started the counter a few weeks ago, you are lucky "Things Best Left Unsaid" visitor 100!! Good on ya!!You are entitled to a dinner for two at Red Lobster, if you can find one.

Send the bill to Dan Johnson. Queens Cross Pub, North Vancouver, British Columbia.

Being Introduced to the Most Helpless Feeling in the World

I'm finally back from Toronto. I don't know how a simple 4 day trip can come to feel like a prison sentence, but it always does, especially this time.

I went out to the airport to find out Air Canada had scored once again by delaying my flight by two hours, on one of the most beautiful days that we've had all year. Turns out a plane had broke down in Hong Kong, and they felt obligated to send my plane to help them out, how generous. Of course the people on the 10 o'clock flight weren't affected, they made people on the 9 wait 2 hours and the people on the 10 got to go on their way.

I was out with da boyz the night before, and I was telling them how I hadn't heard from Miley in a couple of days and was no doubt a little worried. She is in Europe for the summer continuing an Art History class, and even though she had been changing countries like socks she still managed to stay in touch. So that night I dropped her a line to see what was up.

When we were finally allowed to board the plane I made my way down the jetway. When I was about half way down my phone went off indicating a new e-mail. I stopped and opened it up. The jetway started to close around me. She explained that a few days before they were up hiking in the hills above Vienna. One of the boys in the group, Christopher Yeates, a new grad still full of piss and vinegar, slipped on a rock and fell off an embankment. He hit his head on a rock when he landed and fell into the water. The other kids raced down the hill in a failed attempt to revive him. He died on impact.

I could read the despondence in her words. We had talked about this trip for a long time, and even though she was feeling some hesitance before she left, she soon realized it was one of her first wide eyed steps out into the world. The boys mother (Miley's English teacher) was also on the trip, I just couldn't even fathom the feeling, I knew how I felt, suddenly alone, somewhat terrified on the jetway. A feeling snaking up my spine like I hadn't experienced before. Yet Miley was alright, I'm so proud of her in how she has dealt with this. My heart pours like a river for his family. The trip of a lifetime has turned into a lifetime of tears.

The flight attendant called out to me that they were closing the door. I snapped out of it (somewhat) and went to the plane. My business partner Michael was already on there, and as I sat he said I was white as a ghost. I explained what happened, closed my eyes and went into thought. I didn't even have time to respond to the e-mail, and now I was locked in this cigar tube for hours. I just wanted to scream. I simply can't describe the feeling, I just felt like I really let her down, there was so much I wanted to say.

I finally wrote when I got to hotel hours later. And as I said before, I am so proud of how she is dealing with it. I suppose a trip of a lifetime includes learning about life and how special and how precious it really is. We only have years and inside the years are weeks, and days, and hours, and minutes. Even the seconds are precious. It takes but a moment for the smile of a child to warm your heart.

I hope and I know that she will find a lot of answers in Europe the next couple of weeks.

Its like I always say. If life hands you lemons, make lemonade.....if life hands you gators, make Gatorade.

There is a memorial fund set up in Christopher's name at the Zion bank in Park City. Account number 098-363054. The family is talking about using the funds for a scholarship to send other kids to Europe. I couldn't have thought of a better idea myself.

Until I Find You

I have found my reading for the summer. I used to be a voracious reader, now I think I write more than I read, not a bad thing I guess, but I suppose you are the judge of that. My reading now is reserved for days at the beach and airplane flights, books that is, I still keep the periodical business flourishing with my impulse purchases.

I picked up a John Irving book that came out a couple of years ago. At almost 900 pages it should keep me going for awhile. I have always dug Irving, his writing style is unmistakable and solely his. The first book I read of his was "A Prayer for Owen Meany," a fantastic book that essentially teaches us that no matter what faults we have, or see in ourselves, we are all here for a purpose. Some great, some small.

I am leaving on a trip to Toronto this week, so I decided to pop into a bookstore before the departure instead of my "holding the plane while I browse" habit that I normally subject my fellow passengers to.

I was intrigued by the title, "Until I Find You," and the cover which has those words written on a tattoo. I have always had this inner belief that there are people out there that I am meant to find, find so I can help them or they can help me. I always dream of the possibilities. There is an old song that I always like to listen to when I come home after a long night, especially the stormy nights when I plunk myself down in the chair in our solarium and listen to the rain dance on the glass above my head. The lyrics go like this:

As I write, I watch the night go down

And I see the lonely twinklin' lights of town

And I think about a girl, out there in the world

She's looking for, she's looking for me somewhere

I heard her sing once at the rodeo

She wore a rhinestone suit of white and gold

And as she sang and played, she stole my heart away

She's looking for, she's looking for me somewhere

She's looking for me somewhere, I know

She's looking for me high and looking low

Oh to live and die it seems, is a waste without a dream

She's looking for, she's looking for me somewhere

And as the morning sun begins to rise

Alone I go to bed and I close my eyes

And I dream about a girl, out there in the world

She's looking for, she's looking for me somewhere

She's looking for, she's looking foe me somewhere

Pretty simple, but a very nice song, great album actually.

People have always bugged me about why I don't "put myself out there." I think that's a bunch of trash. I'm out there every day. I don't need to throw myself on the produce stand to be inspected. I know what I want, and I know it's out there. I find it all the time, sometimes it's sitting right beside me, but it's not the time and place. (Reference my circle theory.) I don't believe in finding who I want to spend my life with through attrition.

I see so many people in empty relationships, so many people killing time. I always say to a friend of mine, "If you can't see yourself in it in 5 years, why are you in it now? You're potentially taking away 5 years from where you are supposed to be."

So I will carry on with my way.....Until I find you.