Oops, I Did it Again

"I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both."

-Soren Kierkegaard

Do you ever get yourself in one of those situations that you just don't know how to get out of? I seem to all the time, but always with the best intentions. Exactly 50% of me says run, while the other half or course says stay. Sleepless nights abound.

The funny thing (not so funny) is this time I'm on the other side of the table. The master manipulator is being manipulated. The sad thing (really sad) is that I know every slight nuance of body language and the words before they even leave the lips. I may not have written the book, but I sure as hell taught the course.

I find myself in an impossible hurtful situation that not only is casting the greatest cloud of self doubt on myself, but also reminding me of what I have done to others in the past. Unfortunately, when I can't sleep I can't think. My mind races and the solution gets lost in the problem itself.

What to do? What to do?

Gimme Shelter

Wow, I've been lazy. I can't say how many times I've looked over at my computer the last 10 days contemplating a post. No deal. Just too much on my mind.

I would have posted a video or something, but You Tube has decided to be a little bitch. I do want to add a link though (if I'm actually able to do that). This is a little clip that Steph posted the other day of Tom Brokaw describing the relationship between Canada and the U.S.. Interesting little piece. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYoTJItSPt0

I was downtown on Friday having lunch at the Lennox with the boys. I must say the energy was electric. We had something like this back during Expo 86, but I think the compression of time (Expo was about 6 months long) just adds to the experience. One of my favorite things was when we left the Lennox and walked down Granville a ways. When we returned there was a group of say 6 Americans sitting on the patio of the Lennox who started chanting "USA USA USA!!". Much to their shock about 20,000 people started singing "Oh Canada" until one of them finally relented and took off his shirt to wave as a white flag. Everyone including them got a good laugh out of it.

I must say it was just chaos though. As I've said to a few people, Canadians just don't know how to be in crowds. We are used to having 1000 square kilometers for each citizen. So when you suddenly drop 150,000 people in a 4 block area, it's just "excuse me, pardon me, sorry about that" and what not. Definitely not the well oiled machine that is New York.

Now to just win some hockey games.

Before and After

I have these completely backwards. I don't know how to edit the damn thing so you just have to start with the bottom one and move your way up. I've been totally down on this Olympic thing. Number one it has left my business dead in the water, and secondly I thought it was going to make a nightmare of my meeting schedule. In all honesty though, it really hasn't been that bad.

The torch went by almost by my house yesterday and I was lucky enough to go up and see it. It was only a couple of blocks away, and what I really liked was that out of all the travels it has made, this was probably one of the more remote locations. I could not believe the people pouring out of the woodwork. I Being a complete dumbass, I really thought I would be standing there myself. As you can see, that is not the way it turned out.

And I must say, it is always nice when you can get some patriotism out of Canadians.

Get Back Honky Cat

After a long morning of brunch and cleaning out the car (my new one should be here soon), it's time to kick back. I've just been loading up on iTunes lately getting ready for my lazy summer beach days and long drives in the new Spyder.

I normally only load up on music when I'm burning disc's for Miley, and I guess it's just been so long my collection is getting a little stale no matter how big it is. I picked up some huge compilations. The Doors, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and the great Elton John.

Did you know that ITunes censors the names of songs? You can't buy Honky Cat, but you can buy H@#$@ Cat. Is that crazy or what? They turn '70's slang into swear words. What a bunch of jive turkeys. I think they should keep on truckin'. DY-NO-MITE!!

Anyhow, I have a lot of catch up work from this week. Open the spreadsheet and set my iTunes to stun.

Sticks and Stones Will Break our Bones, but Words Will Break our Hearts

People are trying to take something away from me. It's not even anything tangible. You can't buy it, you can't sell it. You can't misplace it, you can however lose it. And it is something I need so much right now, it is something I have needed for a long time.

I can't even tell you what the last week has been like. I actually get sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Frustration is pouring from my skin like the sweat you get in Miami about 15 minutes before the afternoon rain. I guess there are some things I am just not capable of doing myself. And this is all over and above what "those people" are trying to take away from me.

To some extent it is my fault for creating these "perfect world's" that I somehow always come to believe can exist. Those places I went to hide in my youth. I suppose it's like that friend said to me back in the summer "nobody can live up to your expectations." And even more so, I think there are people out there with this deep seated belief that under no circumstances should I be allowed to be happy. They cling like peanut butter to bread on any word or situation they can use to deflate any momentary glimpse of light I may see. It is so wrong.

Yes, I can be a nasty person, but only as a defensive measure. Nobody has my back, so like a Porcupine with it's quills, or a Viper with it's venom I will strike, but only if provoked. I don't know why people need to talk of me, but I do know that it will never stop. But I can tell you, after the day, week, month, year, I've had, I am not one that you want to corner. They might not be able to buy what they are trying to take, but they will sure pay a price if they do.

Man, that feels better already.