The Kelowna Trip or How to Trash Your New Truck in 24 Hours

Well, the birthday went by pretty quietly. I went on a bit of a tear on the weekend, so by the time the actual day came around I was pretty worn out. I had to leave to Kelowna at 6 the next morning, so I had to use the last shread of good judgement I had left from my 39th year.

There was a lot of anxiety leading up to the trip. The Coquihalla Highway was closed the morning before due to hazardous driving conditions, and even at the best of times it isn't the greatest.

I set out as planned at 6. I was amazed at the time I was making, I was on the Port Mann Bridge in 12 minutes. Normally at least a 30 minute feat. The sun started rising as I climbed into the mountains, a most beautiful sunrise that words could not describe. The song above was playing (just thought I would throw that in there.) The roads were perfect, no ice, no snow. I made it door to door in 3 hours. Anyone that can beat that is more than welcome, i'm still tring to get the black stuff from my steering wheel off of my hands. This was a bit of an experiment between my boss and myself. He figured it was more cost effective to drive up than fly as I normally do. I must say, and yes this is a total slam of Air Canada, with the normal delays and driving to the airport yada yada yada, it would take me 3 and a half hours to fly to Kelowna. Kind of disturbing. But here is the kicker, and i'm sure it will be fun on the conference call on Monday. The Coq. is covered with gravel as everyone knows to help combat the snow. The windshield, my hood, my headlights, my bumper, shot. Probably around $2000.00 in damage, not too cost effective, but we'll see how that goes over.

After I took care of business, I wandered over to my sisters house where they had a bit of a surprise birthday party for me. The kids were still hopped up on Easter chocolate, and bouncing off the walls when they saw me. I hit the Toys 'R' Us on the way over and told them that the Easter Bunny had given me some more booty to give them, but, they would have to wait. So obviously for the next hour, I had each of them wanting to tell me a secret, when I would lower my ear to them it would all be the same statement. "Uncle Johnny, I talked to the Easter Bunny, and he wants you to go to your truck and get our gifts, he's mad you won't give them to us." I still managed to skirt the issue until after dinner.

So we had dinner, and the cake came out. Bryson the youngest thought he would take another stab at it and told me he had another secret. I bent down..."the Easter Bunny told me to tell you that my mommy didn't make this cake and the lasagna is a frozen one from the store...and you should give me my gift." I swear, this kid must have gone to my seminar on how to burn your parents. So then they brought out the big card that the kids had made with all of their "poems". As with all of us at that age, they are either stuck with the "roses are red" line or a knock knock joke. Sierra had "Roses are red, violets are blue, did you know that, we really love you." awwww.. Parker was next with "Roses are red, violets are blue, today is your birthday, just for you". And then once again, Mighty Bryson steps to bat..."Knock knock. Who's there? Violets. Violets who? Violets...can you smell them!! I just found my new pick up line.

After we cleaned up,I helped Parker with a Science Fair project for a little while until the kids settled in with my sister down in the sunken living room. I was just listening in as I was reading an e-mail. Parker found 4 more Easter Eggs behind some DVD's on the fireplace. My sister said "how long are you guys going to keep finding these things, you would think they would all be found by know?" Not really paying attention, I just started talking while I was reading my Blackberry. "You know Heather, the general idea is that you count how many you hide, and then you know how many are left...DUH!!" The room went silent, my sisters jaw dropped to an almost impossible angle. It seemed like time froze for a moment...the awkward silence was just long enough for a lightning bolt of fear to race up my spine. My sisters stare narrowed and hardened. And then the words trickled out of my niece's mouth like drops of water from a downspout. "Mommy....are you the Easter Bunny?" My sister resting her head in her palms and sighed "oh my god".. I meanwhile ran for the door...hearing my name, thats right the whole John Christopher being yelled from behind. My Mother walked in and asked what was going on, I just said " i think Heather want s to talk to you, I have to go", and contined my dash for the door. Heather knowing the house better than I, already had me blocked.

It took about an hour of back tracking, but I think the kids believe in the Easter Bunny again. As I was leaving, Heather gave me the standard "please don't come back...especially for Christmas." line and I was on my way. Good times.