Fear and Loathing in Vancouver

"The most destructive element in the human mind is fear. Fear creates aggression." -Dorothy Thompson

Fear is the one of the things we all have in common. We all carry them with us everyday of our lives. I am terrified of the ocean, the power, the darkness, the depth of secrets it holds. Only fear can make a 300lb man question the intentions of a spider.

The list of fears is infinite. Most people don't even have a root for their fear. It is probably one of the deepest psychological secrets of the human mind. People will have a fear of dying in a fire, in a plane, or simply alone. And you ask them, well aren't you just afraid of dying period, and they just get this puzzled look of their face. Now bear with me, this going somewhere.

Cenophobia is the fear of new things.
Cleithrophobia is the fear of being locked in an enclosed space.
Hoplophobia is the fear of guns.
Kakorrhaphiophobia is the fear of failure.
Koinoniphobia is the fear of rooms.
Kopophobia is the fear of fatigue.
Agoraphobia is the fear of leaving a safe place.
Angrophobia is the fear of becoming angry.
Anthropophobia is the fear of people.
Athazagoraphobia is the fear of being forgotten or ignored.
Autophobia is the fear of being alone.
Aviophobia is the fear of flying.
Macrophobia is the fear of long waits.
Metathesiophobia is the fear of change.
Mastigophobia is the fear of punishment.
Glossophobia is the fear of trying to speak.
Ochlophobia is the fear of crowds.
Neophobia is the fear of anything new.
Pnigophobia is the fear of choking.
Sociophobia is fear of society.
Soteriophobia is the fear of dependence on others.
Xenoglossophobia is the fear of foreign languages.
Xenophobia is the fear of strangers or foreigners.
Panophobia is the fear of everything.

That is a lot a fears, and of course only a fraction of them all. Now I want you to look at the photo at the top, not just a glance, look into it. What do you see? Do you see anger, or do you see fear?

That is Robert Dziekanski. He arrived from Poland 10 hours earlier and was waiting in a baggage room at YVR. He came from a small village in Poland that was very hard for him to leave. His mother had been saving money for years so he could start a new life in Canada. His Step-father said he was a star gazer, a dreamer. He had been traveling for about 28 hours. He had never been on a plane before, or even to another country for that matter. His mother had mistakenly told him to wait in the baggage area and she would meet him there. The baggage area for domestic flights at YVR is open to the public, however, the baggage area for international arrivals is sealed for "security" reasons. He did not know any english, and simply did as his mother told him. He stayed in the baggage area for ten hours. He had not eaten since being on the plane, most likely some 15 hours earlier, he did not have access to water.

Through the doors, some 20 yards away was his mother asking where her son was. She was told that he never got off the plane. She eventually left a few hours later. In this age of "heightened security" he stayed in that room for 10 hours. No one from security asked if there was a problem, no one from Border Services asked if there was a problem. As a matter of fact there are 3 Border services employees stationed in that room. That means that 3 people sat through an entire work day without asking Robert if there was a problem. Some other people did eventually, other passengers, heroes, who have somewhat restored my faith in people. Robert was getting very confused, frustrated, tired, and hungry by this point. He started to display his emotions. We will call this the zero minute. 30 seconds in he blocks the door to the arrival lounge with two chairs and a table, and calls out in Polish. A person in the background says "why's there no security here?" At 1 minute 30 seconds a woman (passenger) asks what language he speaks. A man calls out "There's nothing wrong, it's OK, we need a Russian interpreter." A minute later a woman approaches Robert and offers her hand, gestering him to move toward. He appears to calm down, but then picks up a table and holds in toward the woman. Another minute later he walks back into the secure area behind a desk and starts throwing papers around. The woman keeps talking to him through a slit in the glass between the secure area and the glass. The woman then walks away. 30 seconds later he picks up a computer and throws it to the ground. He then picks up a chair and throws it at a window before picking up the computer again. 40 seconds later two security personnel arrive and ask Robert to put the computer down which he does. The security guards step back, Robert stands behind his barricade and a woman says " He's so scared-just leave him." 30 seconds later he again picks up a chair and a person in the background asks "why are the police not here." 50 seconds later 4 RCMP officers walk in, a bystander informs them that Robert speaks Russian. The officers walk in the doorway and make verbal contact in English. Robert is standing in a non-aggressive manner, he lifts his hands in dismay, an RCMP officer points to the side and Robert moves in that direction. The officers surround him. 20 seconds later one of the officers shoot Robert with a Taser. He stumbles to the side of the counter and falls down, screaming in pain and clutching his chest, he is curled into a fetal position. 10 seconds later two officers kneel on him as he struggles and one officer asks another to Taser him again. He is Tasered again and know all 4 officers are kneeling on him. One places his knee square on his neck, so hard that his hips and legs lift off the ground. His screams turn to sobs. One minute later Robert stops moving. He has died.

Now, i don't really know how i'm going to write this, or how it's even going to come out. To those of you that have a fear of dying in a fire, or drowning. Think about the fear of dying alone, tired, hungry, confused, thirsty, ignored. Think about dying because no one really seemed to care. Think about dying with your final screams not even being understood. Was he asking for help? Was he calling for him mother? I am ashamed, and a tear is rolling down my cheek as I write this. Because no matter how many fears Robert had when he died, he actually died from our fears, our society. The fears that make someone work an entire shift watching a mans final hours because they are too afraid to do anything about it.

To you people that tried to help Robert, you are heroes, and you are probably living with the pain that you could have done more, you did what you could, rest. To the RCMP, Border Services, and the staff of YVR. I hope your judgement day is long and painful. I hope the hounds of hell toss you into the River Styx.

As for me, I just don't know.