Lately I've Been Talking In My Sleep...Can't Imagine What I've Had to Say

I've started dreaming again, about six months ago. I don't really know what made me stop, one of those unsolved puzzles of the mind. Freud proposed that dreams were meant to protect our sleep, that outside stimuli that could wake us were instead folded into a dream. He had to be right to some extent, during the period I wasn't dreaming I would be awoken every half hour or so. There is nowhere to hide when you can't dream, you must face your daily anxieties, and many a night is spent staring at the ceiling.

There are many curious facts about dreams. Did you know that 10% of people only dream in black and white? Many people find aggression in dreams, 50% of American men report only having dreams of aggression, while the average for other countries is only 32%. Interesting. We have recurrent dreams, well 70% of us do. I have one, although it is always part of a nightmare. Whenever I have a dream with darker elements, I always end up in the same room of a house. The lighting of the room is not possible, the entire room is the same colour, the furniture, the carpets, the sheers that seem to breath in and out as if the room is alive. But there is no life here, the room always represents death, the colour is this sterile grey/powdery blue, clinical, lifeless.

We can find salvation in our dreams, and we can find our fears. We can take that last walk with a loved one that we always wanted to, but either didn't have the chance, or didn't take the time. We can be a star, all the fame and fortune, without the magazine covers or the rehab. We can swim back through time and take another stroll through the mustard field on one of those days where the sky seems to reach forever toward the horizon as if you could fall off the end of the earth. The gentle breeze makes the mustard roll and pitch like a large body of water or a collective soul.

You can find forgiveness in dreams, and you can feel love that was always unrequited. You can be in Paris for lunch, or skate at Rockefeller Center at Christmas time. You can walk the pyramids, dive off the Florida keys, and sail around Cape Horn and still be up in time to go to work. Oh, if only dreams had air miles.

I'm glad that I can dream again, I think it represents a lot of the past few years for me, and the new freedom and peace I have found within. People often ask when I am going to make that trip to meet my daughter for the first time. I don't think either of us are in a rush, I can find her in dreams when I want. We can hang around and watch movies, or play a game of basketball together (I always win.) I truly look forward to the day, but at the same time I think our distance has made us that much closer. She knows i'm always there and that's what matters most (although I don't always like being there at midnight, yes Miley, that is directed at you.)

That's it for me, think i'll take a nap.