People are trying to take something away from me. It's not even anything tangible. You can't buy it, you can't sell it. You can't misplace it, you can however lose it. And it is something I need so much right now, it is something I have needed for a long time.
I can't even tell you what the last week has been like. I actually get sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Frustration is pouring from my skin like the sweat you get in Miami about 15 minutes before the afternoon rain. I guess there are some things I am just not capable of doing myself. And this is all over and above what "those people" are trying to take away from me.
To some extent it is my fault for creating these "perfect world's" that I somehow always come to believe can exist. Those places I went to hide in my youth. I suppose it's like that friend said to me back in the summer "nobody can live up to your expectations." And even more so, I think there are people out there with this deep seated belief that under no circumstances should I be allowed to be happy. They cling like peanut butter to bread on any word or situation they can use to deflate any momentary glimpse of light I may see. It is so wrong.
Yes, I can be a nasty person, but only as a defensive measure. Nobody has my back, so like a Porcupine with it's quills, or a Viper with it's venom I will strike, but only if provoked. I don't know why people need to talk of me, but I do know that it will never stop. But I can tell you, after the day, week, month, year, I've had, I am not one that you want to corner. They might not be able to buy what they are trying to take, but they will sure pay a price if they do.
Man, that feels better already.
No comments:
Post a Comment